I’m sure my love and admiration for Fabian Cancellara is well known by now. And for me, nothing is more charming than his use of Fabianese – a strange hybrid language of English, a SwissGerman iPhone on autocorrect and a sprinkling of Swiss humour. In honour of the big man’s birthday today, I have compiled a short primer on the Fabianese language.
All hashtags! Fabianese is a flexible language. It is perfectly acceptable to speak in a stream of consciousness and in all hashtags. In fact, it’s encouraged. (#boxFight – that doesn’t sound good.)
Fly into electronic trash When one is frustrated by modern technology.
#KingClass The only way to fly!
#notFun : Boring day.
Super fast crazy start This is a lesser form of All hashtags stream of consciousness but it’s along the same lines. Fabianese is a passionate language where your words should just tumble out for others to sort through.
#Unclass This must be said with a great amount of disdain in your voice, especially when talking about #emptyminibars.
#Unluck This is one of the most useful and flexible words in the Fabianese language. It can be a verb or an adjective. There can be unluck clouds and you can be isolated of the unluck. Superlative form: A shit day of unluck. Use this phrase sparingly as it’s the most potent form of the word.