EasyPeasy Fabianese! Your guide to speaking like Fabian Cancellara

I’m sure my love and admiration for Fabian Cancellara is well known by now. And for me, nothing is more charming than his use of Fabianese – a strange hybrid language of English, a SwissGerman iPhone on autocorrect and a sprinkling of Swiss humour. In honour of the big man’s birthday today, I have compiled a short primer on the Fabianese language.

All hashtags! Fabianese is a flexible language. It is perfectly acceptable to speak in a stream of consciousness and in all hashtags. In fact, it’s encouraged. (#boxFight – that doesn’t sound good.)

Fabianese all the hashtags#Fabianese The language, as you can see here, is also #EasyPeasy. Always encourage others to try speaking it. It’s worth the effort.

Fabianese fabianese

Fly into electronic trash When one is frustrated by modern technology.

Fabianese fly into electronic trash#fullGas Leaving everything out of the road so outta my way (see also #kamikaze)

Fabianese pain is pain#kamikaze Fast and out of control, especially when left coners are on the road.

Screen Shot 2015-03-18 at 10.36.18 AM#kaputt What happens after you’ve gone #fullGas or #kamikaze. A popular Fabianese term. Use it often.

Fabianese Kaputt

#KingClass The only way to fly!

kingclassMister Guide Someone who leads you out.

Fabianese Mister GuideAlso known as #StrongHorse in a crosswind (Fabianese may have its roots in Native American language.)

Fabianese strongHorse#NoMakeUp No, this is not a little powder so that you don’t shine on camera. This is Fabianese for being truthful and honest.

Fabianese NoMakeUpNo soupe! When the day has been liquid enough. #unflavour

Fabianese no soupe#nonProfesionalFoto This is the visual form of Fabianese. (Also #tiered Tired but in layers.)

Fabianese nonProfesionalFoto

#notFun : Boring day.

fabianese boring dayRoasted bike riders at a long smooth grill festival #hot #hot #hot

Fabianese roasted bike riders#shaving You won’t catch me with a bushy beard like Bernie or Luca. Stubble only goes so far.

Fabianese shaving

Super fast crazy start This is a lesser form of All hashtags stream of consciousness but it’s along the same lines. Fabianese is a passionate language where your words should just tumble out for others to sort through.

Fabianese super fast crazy startThe real sweat #hot #hot

Fabianese sweat sweat

#Unclass This must be said with a great amount of disdain in your voice, especially when talking about #emptyminibars.


#Unluck  This is one of the most useful and flexible words in the Fabianese language. It can be a verb or an adjective. There can be unluck clouds and you can be isolated of the unluck. Superlative form: A shit day of unluck. Use this phrase sparingly as it’s the most potent form of the word.


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