Yes, it’s time for the hottest race on record – the spicy Vuelta a Espana. While we love the craziness of the Vuelta, sometimes it’s the languor of those uneventful stages that brings out the spice and Tweet heat from fans that is GOLD for this column. And we’ll be serving it up through the whole three weeks. Vamos!
Belinda tells it like it is, accessorised with flash cards and Sharpies
TOP 10 REASONS TO WATCH #LAVUELTA21!
AND 1 PIECE OF NEWS!!
👋 @cmallet & @davemacka mind if I drop by? #CouchPeloton #SBSCycling #RookieRacingRecap pic.twitter.com/P0PmHSb3oO— Belinda (@reallyspoketome) August 13, 2021
#LaVuelta21 HOT MESS MAP 2021 Edition
Your non-pro guide to the wild ride that is La Vuelta. Stage-by-stage details, hot tips, & highly accurate facts. #GTHotMessMaps #CouchPeloton #LaVuelta pic.twitter.com/4nuUvEHij0
— Belinda (@reallyspoketome) August 13, 2021
Tricky techy time trial
Re-enactment of Mikel Landa‘s ITT arrival on Stage 1. This does not bode well, does it, folks?
Landismo = Periquismopic.twitter.com/LsUnlO242T
— David Guénel (@davidguenel) August 15, 2021
Antonio Banders is on the course! #LaVuelta21 https://t.co/3ufzIVeD9g
— (((Lukas Knöfler))) (@lukascph) August 14, 2021
He took it well, did Aranburu
Very happy for Roglic 🥳 but also feeling quite heartbroken for Aranburu. 🥺#LaVuelta21 #couchpeloton pic.twitter.com/CUb3uWZ7wW
— AnnaMac (@AnnamacB) August 14, 2021
Primož and his slides 🙈 pic.twitter.com/ruY5RgnV59
— Debby 🖤💛 (@Debby_Drckx) August 14, 2021
Dog was nearly the latest victim of DSM’s management. pic.twitter.com/kHGXZObjSM
— Journal Velo (@JournalVelo) August 14, 2021
And of course, Primoz Roglic takes the first red of the Vuelta.
Primoz Roglic back in red after winning time trial opener at Vuelta a España
'Our intention is to have the leader's jersey on the right day, which is the day after the last stage' says defending champion #LaVuelta21 https://t.co/mpsbMgoGHo
— Cyclingnews.com (@Cyclingnewsfeed) August 15, 2021
And we *never* saw a Cofidis rider in the ITT – where were they?
They'll be on course later… I've heard they only come out at night. 🧛♂️ #LaVuelta21 https://t.co/gZgNZAsG9L
— Issie 💙 (@IssieAtch) August 14, 2021
Vuelta Drinking Game of Death
For those who want to flirt with alcohol poisoning, pony up at the Vuelta bar.
Don’t forget to drink when
– You hear “scrapping the barrel to get something out the season”
– any time you see Brad without T.shirt but with jacket
– Every time a rider says “good feelings”(Seriously don’t play this game, you liver will hate you) #LaVuelta21 #couchpeloton
— AnnaMac (@AnnamacB) August 14, 2021
— AnnaMac (@AnnamacB) August 14, 2021
Team Kenny
With Kenny Elissonde in the break on Stage 3, it was time for Belinda to make some connections.
I’ve always been Team Kenny. #LaVuelta21 #CouchPeloton pic.twitter.com/oYdvoocT8o
— Belinda (@reallyspoketome) August 16, 2021
But it was ultimately Rein Taaramae who won the day – and took the red from the shoulders of Roglic.
When you wake up in the morning and you start to wonder whether it was a dream…
📸 @cyclingmedia_ag #LaVuelta21 pic.twitter.com/ZBaTkgkUyK
— Intermarché-Wanty-Gobert (@IntermarcheWG) August 17, 2021
Dickie C, Golden Richie, Billy … call him what you will, but it looks like Richard Carapaz might already be out of the Lord of the Flies leadership battle at Ineos.
Golden Richie receives a 20 second time penalty for illegal feeding today after losing a minute on his GC rivals. Should now step down from co leader to domestique #LaVuelta21 pic.twitter.com/JVHvo5wUvM
— Hendrik Lemmer (@GrootLem) August 16, 2021
Hannah Ganna and Cos Vos
It’s the curse of the autocorrect on smartphones.
Ganna (Hannah to his friends) approves this message. pic.twitter.com/psYUyWWW6O
— AnnaMac (@AnnamacB) August 16, 2021
Cos to Vos and your to Tour are my special ones. Plus I only need to tap G U an I to get Guillaume
— Journal Velo (@JournalVelo) August 16, 2021
Doing the good stuff
👏🏽 to @lavuelta for purging start areas, finishes, press-rooms etc. of plastic water bottles (-190,000 of them in total this year). Long overdue at bike races.
— Daniel Friebe (@friebos) August 15, 2021
We've been given metal flasks and there are water coolers scattered around.
— Daniel Friebe (@friebos) August 15, 2021
A creative look at fundraising for charity from Gino Mader … we love it when riders do stuff like this.
Each rider I beat on every stage equals 1 euro that I‘ll spend to an environmental organisation.
To decide where the money should go, write in the comments where it‘s best invested! The comment with the most likes at the end of the three weeks get‘s chosen.
— Gino Mäder (@maedergino) August 15, 2021
Stage 2: 129 riders beaten
New total: 282— Gino Mäder (@maedergino) August 15, 2021
And something that must have sounded good in the idea stage, but is, in fact, rather creepy. Creepy but Tweets of the Week GOLD!
🚿 #LaVuelta21 shower talks🚿
In this year's @lavuelta, our guys are sharing their thoughts of racing a Grand Tour from the very inside of our team bus (but don't worry, we're not showing too much 🤣)
Yesterday, @Maximvangils and @FrisonFrederik talked about the prologue. pic.twitter.com/WYPphCyZNy
— Lotto Soudal (@Lotto_Soudal) August 15, 2021
Nope, only Larry Warbasse should be in the Capt America suit. Nothing against Lawson Craddock at all (we love him!) but that helmet and those glasses. And the socks. Holy moly … this is atrocious.
Stars and stripes jersey just made its grand tour debut at @lavuelta 😲 🙌 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/woIPRU1plf
— EF Pro Cycling (@EFprocycling) August 14, 2021
More fodder for Movistar Series 3
“I flatted. There’s nothing I could do”
— Luke (@LukeTheCycliste) August 16, 2021
The Gruppetto
The stuff we see on the roadside …
"Now that's #creative !"#HungOutToDry #ArtInPassing@tatianaduplat pic.twitter.com/IG5HBbhRqW
— RIDO (@RIDOcycling) August 15, 2021
Sepp Kuss wore the blue pox on Stage 2 – he lost them on stage 3. (Mercifully no pox bibs)
Matching polka-dots for @seppkuss – KoM pic.twitter.com/p0ob1rCs0S
— Andrew Hood (@EuroHoody) August 15, 2021
— Issie 💙 (@IssieAtch) August 15, 2021
Tim Declercq, is that you? 🚜 https://t.co/5QiEXRYPQn
— Issie 💙 (@IssieAtch) August 15, 2021
Petition for Peter Sagan to use this as his new profile picture pic.twitter.com/0OF3YRSWU2
— 𝑩𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝑺𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒏 🐐 (@SwaganP) August 15, 2021
French TV reporting on forest fire risk in the Esterel mountains, all roads closed out of precaution. "Nobody can pass, not even this rambler on a bike" says the voice-over… 👀 without realising who it is https://t.co/3ifXBbOirw
— the Inner Ring (@inrng) August 11, 2021
The last word
Thou canst not tell where one drop of water or one grain of sand will be to-morrow noon
— Moby Dick (@MobyDickatSea) August 16, 2021