If the 2019 Tour de France was a nightclub …
Stage 19 of this year’s Tour de France was eventful. Two of the fan favourites, Thibaut Pinot and Julian Alaphilippe, fell out of contention. Team Ineos took the lead of the race then the stage was abandoned due to bad weather and landslides.
Afterwards it was announced the race deciding penultimate stage wos going to be severely shorter than planned. Which lead journalist Edward Pickering to come up with this analogy:
The end of this Tour has been a bit like when they turn the lights on at the end in a nightclub.
— Edward Pickering (@EdwardPickering) July 26, 2019
I thought I’d embellish that a bit…
Pinot trudging over the sticky floor, Alaphilippe wishing the night had been just a bit shorter and Bernal leaving arm in arm with the girl he’d been eyeing up all night. https://t.co/N7kyd2vk2N
— Journal Velo (@JournalVelo) July 26, 2019
And then Twitter took over and did its best…
The girl Geraint Thomas had been eyeing up all night
— Cillian Kelly (@irishpeloton) July 26, 2019
Ineos are in rounds but Castro and Van Baarle are getting pissed off with Kwaito and Moscon who keep disappearing when it’s their turn.
— John Joe (@jwrt73) July 26, 2019
Landa is the bloke who starts doing the Travolta moves from "Saturday Night Fever" on the dance floor for no reason whatsoever.
— Richard (@algatrensig) July 26, 2019
Matt White's the hard man that gets all "I love you man!" after a few drinks.
— Bronag8 McAnasty (@BeebsyMcA) July 26, 2019
Quintana is wondering where his mates are (they moved on to a different club two hours ago).
— Rich Nicholls (@RichN95) July 26, 2019
Valverde remembers when this place was called something different
— surprisedanddisappointed (@sir_velo) July 26, 2019
Rowe and Martin got booted out by the bouncers for spilling each other’s drinks, but are now laughing at each other’s jokes outside the kebab shop
— surprisedanddisappointed (@sir_velo) July 26, 2019
David Gaudu still can’t believe they let him in but is doing alright with the ladies
— surprisedanddisappointed (@sir_velo) July 26, 2019
Absolutely nobody knows where Richie Porte is, even three hours later. His mum might have kept him in.
— Dr Headgear (@DrHeadgear) July 26, 2019
Offredo is throwing up violently but still refusing to believe he can't finish 20 tequilas in a row after a day on the booze
— Oliver Jones (@oliverjones1988) July 26, 2019
Marcus Burghardt enjoys every bit of the night but still makes sure everyone gets home safe & sound whilst feeling good about themselves🥇
— Stase (@HoBeStac) July 27, 2019
The bouncer stopped Tejay at the door.
— Kevin Lundy (@SCSynapse) July 26, 2019
George Bennett is carrying a massive tray of drinks back to the Jumbo table just as his favourite record comes on that he requested with the DJ when they first arrived & he’s been waiting to dance to all night.
— Dean Laccohee (@TheClubTen1) July 26, 2019
Nairo with red after-shock spilled down the front of his shirt.
— Dean Laccohee (@TheClubTen1) July 26, 2019
Quintana has been down the back forlorn and only get up once for a bit of Gloria Esteban while Richie Porte was drunk at 9pm and left to sleep it off in a back room
— Cycling_mad (@Cycling_mad1) July 26, 2019
Just as Kruijswijk had plucked up the courage to dance with the girl the lights come on and the music stopped.
— Moist Duckling (@kopitekevster) July 26, 2019
Simon Yates is wowing everyone with his flashy dance moves, whilst insisting that Adam taught him everything and is the better dancer. Adam fell over walking to the dancefloor and is now sulking in a dark corner.
— Ian Hale (@EpicallyFailing) July 27, 2019
Bardet has moved on from trying to pull the good looking girl to her not so hot friend.
— Moist Duckling (@kopitekevster) July 26, 2019
Rohan Denis couldn’t get in ‘cos his outfit didn’t meet the dress code!
— Barry Fairhurst (@threebee3b) July 26, 2019
Meanwhile, Landa, Soler and Valverde are at an entirely different club, after Quintana 'forgot' to tell them where everyone was going.
— Ian Hale (@EpicallyFailing) July 26, 2019
Sagan is break-dancing between the feet of the smoochy slow dancers.
— Peter In Devon 🏴🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@PeterInDevon) July 26, 2019
Tim Wellens was chatting that girl up and keeps trying again every time Bardet pops to the bar.
— Jon (@jonny_smash) July 26, 2019
Wout van Aert was having a fantastic evening, great chat, lively couple of drinks before he slammed three tequilas in a row, stumbled down the stairs on his way to the bar and ended up in hospital.
— Jon (@jonny_smash) July 26, 2019
De Genet is that guy who just dances all night. Doesn't even look at the girls.
— Bronag8 McAnasty (@BeebsyMcA) July 26, 2019
Luke Rowe and Tony Martin swinging wildly at each other and shouting “hold me back” , then hugging each other when the cops drive by
— Aidan (@onthenickel) July 26, 2019
Adam Yates swaggered in with all his mates but then inexplicably went straight out the back to the chill out room, leaving them to take turns lighting up the dance floor.
— Ben (@bfazelrey) July 27, 2019
The entire Movistar team try and start some coordinated dance move, but none of them are doing the same dance.
— Dr Headgear (@DrHeadgear) July 26, 2019
As Laticia says…
This is quite possibly the most entertaining thing on cycling Twitter in the last 24 hours https://t.co/ABsxUM6UU0
— Laticia Waclawik (@sdbeachgirl9) July 27, 2019
Great fun