Tweets of the Week: Desert punch, EastEnd dreams, and springloaded Classics

Wow. I’ve made quite the haul from casting my net into the Twitterstream this past week. We have punch-ups, we have love-ins, we have thespian threats, we have gambolling goats. Kittel, Wiggins, Boonen, van Vleuten, Martin, Howson and sooooo much more. Dig in!

Fisticuffs in the desert

The big news of the Tour of Dubai was not that German sprinting was alive and well, what with the ArgoSunGod and the Mighty Degs both winning sprints left right and centre. Nooooo. It was Astana’s Andriy Grivko deciding that being chastised by Marcel Kittel while in the echelon was too much and punched him in the face. Read about it here and here

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Love is in the air

Stitched up eye or not, KitKat makes sure he gives his team some lovin’ after they express-train him to a few monster wins.

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And speaking of love, I love this set of photos from Annemiek van Vleuten. Her mum looks so sweet!

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You can call me thespian … Sir Thespian

“Just don’t call me a celebrity”, Sir Wiggs said, before he got recruited for The Jump, the C4 reality show of celebrities flinging themselves off a ski jump for … um … actually I’m not sure what they get if they win. I know a couple of the contestants last season got some pretty serious injuries, but I don’t think that was the prize. Anyway, Wiggler seems to like the limelight after all (methinks he always protested too much about fame anyway), as he has just admitted that he’s thinking of trying his hand at that acting lark. The response was swift …

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“Cor blimey, guv, I have a stall full of mystery jiffy bags but they just ain’t shiftin’. There’s a lot of interest but the punters seem to think I should tell ’em what’s in ’em! Won’t feckin’ do that any time soon”

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Harlequin on the slopes

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Meanwhile, Tom ‘elf ears’ Boonen speaks of his own impending retirement. And although I don’t understand Dutch, I don’t believe he has said anything about reality shows or a starring role in EastEnders. The man has his pride and (so far) four Paris-Roubaix cobbles, he doesn’t need Albert Square.

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Medallist gains

You’d think, what with the Great Wiggins Jiffy Bag Bungle and the alternative facts that he came out with which led to a Parliamentary summons, ol’ Uncle Fester would maybe lay low for a while. But no. He comes out and invents new words to account for British Cycling’s methods. You can read the feature here

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And speaking of marginal gains. Alex Howes put this question to the Twittersphere and got some very funny answers.

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And last but not least … You know, I’d forgotten about the Porte-mobile. We’ve never seen that malarkey since those fateful two weeks at the Giro, have we?

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Spring is on the way!

My favourite favourite favourite time of the cycling year!

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I’m so excited, I’m gambolling around like this spring-loaded baby goat!

The gruppetto

Hmmmm. I think that’s a bit of wishful thinking on the part of Sky. Up against Chaves on the climbs? You’d really put your money on G to come out on top?

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Some fanfare …

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The most disturbing part of these pictures is not the gaping wound on his haunch, but the fact that Tony Martin really IS at Katusha.

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Some happy riders over the last week. If you remember, Damien Howson was my rider of the race for stage 20 at the 2017 Vuelta. Great to see him on the top step of the podium this year.

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Trek-Segafredo, packed full of talent, is Midge and I’s team to watch this year. And the Mighty Degs is looking strong and confident. #YeahBaby!

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Good to see Aqua Blue getting some kudos.

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The Jumbo Bees swarm around Laura Meseguer …

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Ending on a positive note

Give what you can, when you can, to whomever you can. But if you’re pushed for ideas, why not donate to Qhubeka and change someone’s life with a new bike?

thank-you-qhubeka

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