If Twitter is going bonkers, it must be July – and it must be the Tour de France. We have the thrill of victory and the agony of road rash, field art that winks and cows impersonating wheels; we have Cav and Sagan, Henderson and Hansen, Stuyven and Contador … and loads more. 

First time in yellow

It seems fitting that one of the greatest sprinters the sport has ever seen and one of the greatest all-round talents both wore the yellow jersey for the first time in the starting weekend of this year’s Tour de France. Mark Cavendish played down his chances of yellow before Saturday’s stage (what with all his track training and the ArgoSunGod in top form, he wasn’t necessarily doing himself down) but came through in a scrappy sprint to take his first head-to-head victory ever off Marcel Kittel.

And here he is in green – although he’s only just babysitting that jersey for the man who took yellow from him.

And now that they’re on the same team, looks like we’ll have more pictures of the Ladies Favourite™ this season. Yes, heeeeeeeere’s Bernie!

Speaking of the man who took the yellow jersey off Cav … it’s the Velvet Samurai himself, Peter Sagan. Can you believe, this is his first Tour de France stage win since 2013? 2013!!!!! And it’s the first time that a World Champion has won a stage that puts him into yellow for, well, yonks.

Yeah, that smile doesn’t look fake at all, Peter. More like ‘if I humour him, maybe he’ll go away’ smile.

One thing you can always say about Sagan, he’s pretty relaxed about things. Lose yellow? No worries … I still have the rainbow.

He’s also very relaxed around fans and always takes time to sign autographs and pose for pictures. Class.

Now, let us speak about the hair: ‘The hair of a man who holds a sword while fighting a tiger …’ Well, okie dokie then.

#Unluck

“… then you hear them coming …” The four riders of the Apocalypse? No, the peloton. Chasing down a lone rider bidding for glory. With only a few hundred metres to go. We can see how much it hurt for Jasper Stuyven.

Richie Porte had his own ‘shit day of #unluck’ with a puncture at the least opportune moment and having to rely on the neutral service car to change his wheel, losing a bucket of time on the GC. I guess pretending it didn’t happen is as good a coping mechanism as any other.

Sam Bennett and Michael Morkov went down hard in the crash on Saturday.

But Greg Henderson really showed what sportsmanship is – trying to give them a little boost as they fell behind on Stage 2.

And of course, Baby Blackbird. Wounded, riding in his socks …

…but still willing to sign a jersey or two.

The Majka of field art!

Warning: this may give you nightmares.

Sometimes, you just don’t know if it’s a design feature or some sort of decay …

The cows as the wheels of the bike went over very well on Twitter – led by the fabulous LesVachesDuTour.

The Gruppetto

If anyone should know how to pack for a Grand Tour, it would be the Mighty Adam Hansen.

Tweeties were largely unimpressed by the anniversary POC helmet.

Robbie McEwen must have caught sight of that hideous sunnies/helmet combo.

Either that or his beret was blown off.

Breakfast of Champions, obvs.

“Now remember … if some kid tries to breach the walls of your sandbox, pick them up and throw them out. No hesitation. Do what your grandpa would do.”

Interesting tactic.

This is for Midge.

This is what happens when sponsorship comes to the Daleks.

Jens is starting to miss racing …

The Last Word

Header image: © GETTY/Michael Steele