Tweets of the Week: Bad ass racing and swimfins

The past weekend had a double-header of Alpine goodness with the finale of the Dauphine and the beginning of the Tour de Suisse. In both races we had some downright baaaaaaad ass riding – and we’ve got some baaaaaad ass tweets to tell the stories. We have Bedhead & Tibbles, Fabs & SagzStevo & Tekla. And a decidedly non-baaaaad ass ride from a certain Mr Porte … errrr 

Bedhead & Tibbles

In the penultimate stage of the Dauphine, it was that crazy French duo – Romain Bardet and Thibaut Pinot. It seemed reminiscent of that Tour de France stage when they were out ahead, then started faffing about after the flamme rouge – and the win was stolen by a certain British rider. But we’ll get to him in a minute.

Bedhead was riding for the yellow jersey – he needed the bonus points that the stage win would give him to make sure he got it. Tibbles was going for the stage win …

Dau Bardet flirt 1 Dau Bardet flirt 2 Dau Bardet Pinot

Dau Tibbles 1

Bardet, however, did get a place on the podium with his Gallic breakaway.

Dau Bardet final 1

Dan Martin attacked out of the yellow jersey group on the last day and swiped the podium out from under Richie Porte. Well, more like Porte got himself boxed in by barriers and former teammates and lost the podium.

Dau Porte lost 1 Dau Porte lost 2 Dau Porte lost 3 Dau Porte lost 7 Dau Porte lost 6 Dau Porte lost 5

Twitter went a bit crazy with both Porte and Sky (read Froome)’s performance on the final day. Porte just sat in Sky wheels, didn’t contribute to the pulling but then didn’t use all that saved energy to attack nearer the finish. And the conjecture that Froome boxed him in/ran into him/tipped over on him … Methinks Porte is going to have to have a bit more nous if he wants anything out of the Tour.

Dau Porte lost 8 Dau Porte lost 10

Dau Porte lost 11

And speaking of Froome, his legs are so stick-like that it looks like he’s wearing his dad’s shoes.

Dau Froome legs Dau Froome octopus

The Iceman Cummings

That Tour de France stage that had Bedhead and Tibbles faffing about under the flamme rouge … he only went on a quixotic break all by himself on the final day of the Dauphine and bloody well stayed away! Yep, that would be Steve Cummings.

Screen shot 2016-06-13 at 21.29.49

Dau Cummings 2 Dau Cummings

And his teammate Daniel Teklehaimanot won the Dauphine’s KOM jersey! Love this picture from Marshall Kappel.

Dau Teklepolkadot 2

And a very honest appraisal of the stage on Saturday.

Dau shitass day

Cowbells at the ready!

Crowd favourite and native son, Fabian Cancellara won Tour de Suisse’s prologue TT.

TdS Fabs finish line TdS Fabs toaster TdS Fabs yellow bus

The Velvet Samurai is in black and looking happy to be in a race he absolutely owns.

TdS Sagan Fabs line

One day in yellow and Fabs loses it by a second or two because there was a split between him and Jurgen Roelandts in the final metres. Surely, that mascot is adding insult to injury as Fabs manoeuvres his way to the team bus.

TdS Fabs mascot

Here is a full view of the mascot.

TdS Krizek mascot

But Fabs kept the points jersey – which is black. And Sagan, who was in black at the start of this section, is now in yellow because he’s been monstering this race.

TdS Fabs in black

Monday’s stage. Sagan goes for the win. Gets no help. Wins anyway.

Dau Sagan elbow 3 TdS Sagan elbow TdS Sagan elbow 2

‘Is that a giant wedge of cheese or are you just happy to see me?’

TdS Sagan cheese


TdS Sagan guitar TdS Sagan Wayne

In the record books

Peter’s giant wedge of cheese has not held him back from setting a few records at this year’s TdS.

Record Sagan tds 1

And flipping back to the Dauphine, Julian Alaphilippe might not have set a record but he did do something noteworthy.

Record Alaphilippe

As did Daniel Teklepolkdot.

Record Teklepolka

How many stages will the rainbow find a pot of gold this year?

Record Sags rainbow

The Gruppetto

Little Baby Blackbird as a tiny sad elf.

G tiny sad elf

Maybe he heard his team owner call him a toy.

G Tinkov toys

More Marshall Kappel greatness.

G Stannard Kappel

G Kappel 3

Looks like Richie is one of the spokesmen for Speedo. Just stay in the pool, Richie, stay in the pool.

G Porte swim 2

Although you wouldn’t know it from his never-changing race face, Nairo Quintana has a vibrant sense of humour (and isn’t afraid to use it)!

G Nairo monster

What you need to know …

G Dombro

Cav looking really lean.

G Cav 1

The last word

Screen shot 2016-06-13 at 21.22.34

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