Tweets of the Week: The days of wine and hamsters

Tweets might be shorter than the last few weeks but it still packs a punch. In fact, more of a punch than usual, as this week, there are some of the creepiest pictures ever seen! Thrones, cats, wine, beer, hamsters … It’s the stuff of nightmares. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

King Kwiatkowski

Let’s start this Amstel Gold Tweet review with some lovely windmill pictures, shall we? Amstel Gold is constantly up and down and at some point, every guy looks like this trio – mouths open, pain etched on their face – particularly the Jumbo bee in the background. All those climbs are really stinging. (Bee joke number 1.) Not only are there a lot of climbs at Amstel, there’s also a lot of sharp corners. Sometimes they work out, sometimes not. Here we see Purito Rodriguez attempt the ‘ride through the front garden’ technique. It didn’t work so well. At one point in the race, Vincenzo Nibali got particularly frisky. Attack here, attack there, get in a break, wild gesticulation because guys weren’t working, attack again, form another break, shakes head in disgust because no one is doing what he says! Then, as Ant so rightly observed, it was back to the team car … Oh, and one Jumbo bee (the fabulously named Wilco Kelderman) went a little too wide on the corner and he had to hive off from the rest into a newly ploughed field. (Bee joke number 2.) But it was all about Flower Power at the finish – his win was so convincing he already had the beer in his hands. I seriously LOVE those rainbow striped gloves. Kwiatkowski might have been crying with joy after the race, but poor Bling Matthews could hardly walk. “I am the King and I sit on a plush throne of velvet.” Ah, poor Valverde, trying desperately to get into the picture. “Drink up, boys, it’ll make your hair grow,” he says to these two never. Is there anything better than those beer mat hats and skirts? Highlight of the Ardennes season for me. The horror, the horror The wine, the hamster, the bad decor. That come hither look in his eyes. Welcome to Oleg’s nightmare. A poor unsuspecting loved-up Velvet Samurai … He’ll find you, Peter, he’ll find you. Meanwhile, back at Sky’s secret headquarters, there was shampoo hijinx. But since when is the ArgoSunGod a ginger? #KittelHairIsBlond The creepiest picture of all. Don’t look in its eyes!!!!! Let’s clear our minds with the lovely Taylor Phinney – team reports that he should be back racing in the peloton by mid to late summer. Let’s hope so. We need That Boy in the peloton again! And possibly the sweetest tweet I’ve seen all week. You just know that it’s a hand-drawn get well card for Spartacus. I really hope Fabs tweets us a picture of the card when he gets it.