It’s a bumper crop of tweets this week – we have everything from worms (everywhere) and rats (flying out of trees) to sand and heat and meetings under bridges (oh man!) Can you think of another sport on the face of the earth that can serve up spectacles and WTFs on so consistent a basis as cycling? Neither can I. I’m got my can opener at the ready!
Can open, worms everywhere
Brian Cookson, Grand Poobah of the UCI, has never been one of the most eloquent of speakers. In an interview with The Guardian this week, the bewhiskered one warned us to brace ourselves for a plague of wigglers when the CIRC report comes out at the end of this month (which, um, is like Saturday)!
Heat and dust
Let’s go back to earlier in the week when Fabs won stage two in Oman in a heated sprint (outsprinting GVA yet again – he’s getting ready for the classics!) This is what he looked like just afterwards. Please note in this picture the little girl in the black polka dot dress. (Black? In that heat?)
I loved all three comments on this picture – from Fabs’ very dry “it was not raining” (see what I did there?) to Ben and Scott’s retorts.
Just imagine for a moment riding for hours in nearly 47°C heat (that’s 116°F for our American readers).
That kind of heat makes your shirt transparent.
But enough pictures of Fabs. Let’s get to the real story of the week. The sandstorm. Stage five.
I think the advice to ‘protect yourself with arms’ is to keep from getting whacked in the face by a flying rat. A. Flying. Rat. That can climb trees. Climb! Trees!
But then things got really dodgy. Blown tyres, brakes not working, nearly 50°C heat, more sand than you could shake a stick at and the peloton decided to stop under a bridge to have a bit of a chat with the organisers. Eddy was NOT amused.
All that dust is making me thirsty. So here are a few water-related instagrams from Oman. Where did that puddle of water come from, I wonder?
Luca just taking care of business.
Meanwhile, over in Spain
The rain was falling mainly on the plain. But that didn’t dampen the renewed rivalry between Chris Froome and Alberto Contador. Oh no. That was game on! Bertie was the first to throw down the gauntlet.
Froome, however, bounced back and took up the challenge.
While all the while, CyclingNews went all Mills & Boon on us.
At any rate, we can safely say that Sky have been adjusting themselves over the winter, as not only did Froome win Andalucia, Geraint Thomas won Volta ao Algarve. And Richie Porte won something. Oh, he won a stage in the Algarve. It’ll be an interesting summer.
V-necks and sharpies
We miss That Boy Phinney, don’t we? Fingers crossed he’ll be back in the peloton before summer.
Here’s a question. Why would you ask someone to autograph your forehead? Or any part of your body for that matter. You will wash it off (eventually) (we hope). Have any of you got parts of yourselves autographed? Let us know (but keep it respectable, okay?)
And as if to prove this point, we have Scarlett’s Kittel cut. Uncanny, no?
Rapha announced some more new designs the other day – as if the Wiggins jersey wasn’t enough. I honestly don’t think anyone on Twitter liked it.
Only Fabs can make compression knee-highs look sexy. (Okay, this is the last Fabs picture.)
I wouldn’t put it past Kanye to storm the Tour podium.
Haven’t had Manuel Quinziato in Tweets for a while so I’m rectifying that now. But hey, is Daniel Oss looking more and more like Murdoch from the A-Team’s younger, crazier brother every day or what? Or, wait, maybe he looks more like Ted Nugent’s younger, more gonzo brother …
While Jonathan Vaughters just looks downright shifty.
An Argonaut mystery.
This really made me laugh.
I think we’ll leave the E3 poster until next week. So here’s KBK’s handiwork.
Go nuts tonight, fella!
I think Marcel Aregger told me something I didn’t want to know about the state of his posterior.
The last word