It’s January, which starts with J, as does the word joey. No, not Tribbiani – those little kangaroo babies that are so prominent in the run-up to the Tour Down Under. Not only do we have a whole gallery of snake-handling, joey-cuddling, koala-gazing cyclists, but we have Fabs leading the sheep.
Nothing says “Hello new season!” like a koala.
The ArgoSunGod gets some joey cuddles. If I changed my name to Joey, would he wrap me in a blanket as well?
I’d kind of thought that if you were Australian, you wouldn’t really get excited by joeys because, let’s face it, they’re everywhere (well, at least I think they are. I’ve never been to Australia. I may be talking nonsense). But that didn’t stop Cadel Evans from trying to take a roo-selfie.
Lars Boom can actually talk to the animals. Or at least reptiles.
Jack Bauer: the only guy in this selection who looks cool with a koala.
Hmm, it looks like Alex Howes slept on wet hair for 60 hours – what an up-do! (BTW, a 60-hour trip? Was he coming from the moon?)
Whereas Jack Bauer is cool with koala, Marco Coledan – well – he actually makes a 12-foot snake look like an elegant Italian accessory. (I reckon this is how Fabs would wear a snake as well …)
That koala looks like it’s trying to headbutt the camera. I think it’s had enough.
We can’t forget the bestest Australian animal of all – it’s the Crikey Cadel croc. Ah, lovely to see him back.
Hard to believe, but I think Ryder Hesjedal looks even sillier in his new helmet and goggles than he did last year. I do like the black argyle though. Natty.
Is it just me or does Heinrich Haussler look like Gordon Ramsay’s younger brother?
See what I mean? Just me? Really? (I think I should get credit for carrying on the animal theme here. Sheep will figure later on in this column so #StayAlert!)
“You want a piece of us? Huh? Huh? Do ya????” The Argonauts talk big and bad.
And with good reason as the ArgoSunGod won Sunday’s People’s Choice Classic.
Meanwhile in SanLuis
You know how Victoria Beckham never smiles for the camera because she’s afraid she’ll look daft? (If you didn’t know that, it is true. That is what she thinks.) I wonder if my little #KwiatKrush has taken that advice to heart. He’s not looking his cheerful self.
Should we start calling him Rainbow Spice?
Mark Cavendish looks like he’s in a hurry – maybe to get to a press conference? However, behind him, the other Etixxes are auditioning for parts in Rumblefish.
“So, hey, Rainbow Spice, what is that on the front of your bike?” “Handlebars. And you can call me Rainbow.”
Rainbow has become downright animated with that peace sign.
Let’s talk about Fabs
When I say, talk about Fabs, I mean look at pictures of Fabs.
Oleg’s hideous punishment if his team doesn’t win everything this season. (I’m really unsure about that facial hair on the Velvet Samurai.)
Speaking of the Velvet Samurai …
Personally, I think he’s looking a bit Bee Gees with that much facial hair. Go back to the stubble, Bernie!
As this week’s column was really a menagerie, we’ll end with a pony.
The last word