He wants to ride! He doesn’t want to ride! He’s gutted! He doesn’t give a monkey’s! He wants to be a super-domestique! He can’t be a super-domestique! Oh, the words swirling around Bradley Wiggins this weekend – and those are all just his! (Okay, slight exaggeration.) There’s really only one cycling story on Twitter this week so let’s just get right to it.

Warning: there were so many tweets and cross-conversations, there might be some disjointed bits in this column, but it couldn’t be helped. I tried to keep the threads together but there were sooooo many! 

“I won’t be riding the Tour”

Bradley Wiggins went on BBC Breakfast on Friday, ostensibly to talk about … who knows?, and dropped that bombshell. He’s not been selected. He’s gutted. It’s not fair.

“Say it ain’t so”

The response was swift and furious.

I love Michele Acquarone but I think the possible (non)selection of Wiggins is not a serious problem for cycling, but a team problem.

Or is it just a lack of communication?

But some people think differently

Robert Millar wrote in his Cyclingnews blog that not including Wiggins in the Tour team was a mark of disrespect. (Personally, I think his first sentence about D-Day commemorations being a good day to bury bad news of the cycling persuasion was a mark of disrespect to thousands of better men who personified the word sacrifice, but hey, that’s just me.) Cillian Kelly questioned Millar’s sweeping statement about tosh.

Yet some think he’s too talented to leave at home, no matter how disruptive he may be.

A sane microcosm

But I thought he didn’t want to ride the Tour again …?

Then there’s that book

“It makes perfect sense”

Of course, there’s always the Russian …

Oh, this one might not be about Wiggins.

And a few stragglers

I wonder what that film would disclose if we saw it …

I find Wiggins being compared to Gwyneth Paltrow really rather amusing. But that’s really rather silly – she’s not as skinny as he is!

That team selection we heard so much about?

Uncle Fester picks the team and don’t you forget it! Oh, and he hasn’t made that selection yet. So everyone could have their knickers in a twist for nothing!

Ho hum, I’m bored with this whole thing now. As far as I’m concerned, I think Brailsford should call Wiggins’ bluff, pick him for the team and make him live up to his promise of being the perfect support for Froome. But let’s go see what’s happening in …

The Gruppetto

“Do you beeeeeleeeeeeeeeve there’s life after love …”

Golly.

Always a good day when you see two huskies on a bike.

Golly, part 2.

Fabs probably doesn’t know this, but I’ve had significant first aid training from St John’s Ambulance. I could wrap those wounds in a very professional manner.

Golly, part 3

I could also wield one of those big soapy mitts to wipe off his face. In a very professional manner, natch!

The Taylor report! You have to love this guy’s attitude. He’s just not going to let this injury get the better of him.

For some reason, Mick Jagger is wandering lonely as a cloud. There must be an airport around here somewhere.

Is it me or are those Ag2r riders getting a little big-headed? (I’m here ALL week!)

This is just downright magnificent.

Pinarello throws?

Listen kid, when you’re older, drunk and in a tutu, don’t be doing this. Got it?

The Last Word