Tweets: Wiggo mystifies while Jens turns on the charm

We’re looking at the end of the alphabet this week for Tweets of the Week. We have Bradley Wiggins – why is he being nice to Froome? How did he gain so much weight? Who is he really? Then we have Jens Voigt – why is he calling out Judge Dredd? What about his retirement? There are girl stormtroopers? We also have The Sacred Haunches sleeping, Taylor topless and so much more in the gruppetto.

The paradox that is Wiggins (edition 3,210)

Quick recap: At the start of the season, Wiggins said he wouldn’t be defending his Tour de France title, he was targeting the Giro. (Froome said he was team leader for TdF 2013.)

In April, Wiggins started making noises about riding the Tour. He then out and out stated that he was going to ride the Tour, after he won the Giro, so he could do the double. (Froome said he was team leader for TdF 2013.)

In May, Wiggins never took his sunglasses off at a rain-soaked Giro, then abandoned mid-race due to a chest infection. He made sounds about training for the Tour. (Froome said he was team leader for TdF 2013.)

In June, it was announced that Wiggins would not riding the Tour due to a knee injury and the fact that he couldn’t train properly. (Froome said he was team leader for TdF 2013.)

End of July, rumours of no congratulations call from Wiggins to Froome (who was team leader for TdF 2013 and, in fact, won it). Wiggins admitted he couldn’t bear to watch the Tour.

Now, with the World Championships on the horizon, Wiggins has put on some weight and seemed to have considered his position in an interview (he said that Froome would be team leader for TdF 2014) that had a few people wondering.

Wiggo Froome support2

Wiggo Froome 1Wiggo Froome 2

Wiggo Froome support 1aWiggo Froome support 2

Wiggo Froome support 1

Wiggo Froome support 3What brought on this change of heart?

Wiggo velocast humility 1Wiggo velocast humility 2But it’s never straightforward with Wiggins, is it? Still isn’t. He mentions Lance in the interview – well, sort of.

Wiggins American guy 1 Wiggins American guy 2Wiggo American guy 4You have to hand it to Wiggo, his interviews just keep on giving.

But then it was noticed that he has bulked up – why he’s practically the size of the Incredible Hulk next to Froome these days. That was to do with wanting the rainbow jersey for time trial. (Froome is making sounds about doing the rainbow double, but let’s leave that for another week, shall we?) Let’s listen in to what the tweeties had to say about the weight gain, shall we?

Wiggo weightWiggo weight 1Wiggo weight 2Wiggo weight 3

Hmmm, so he missed the team presentation for Eneco. He also missed the team presentation for Tour de Pologne. Which is kind of crap for all the fans who were out to see the teams.

Wiggo EnecoBut enough about Wiggins. Let’s go on to a rider who knows that showing up for the fans at the team presentation is as important as riding the race.

The Jensie goes to Utah

Jens pic 1Jens for governorJens for governor 2So once Jens retires, he knows that he can move into a political career. And speaking of retirement, we’ve all been waiting to see if he’s going to ride just one more year. This is what he says.

Jens no retirement 1Jens retirement 2Well, he says that, but he’s had Judge Dredd on his back wheel during the race.

Jens Judge Dredd 1Jens Judge Dredd 2Jens Judge Dredd 3Jens Judge Dredd 4Jens Judge Dredd 5If you were Judge Dredd, would *you* want to be called out by Jens Voigt? (No is the answer.) Because look at this FACE!

Jens game face 1Jens game face 2

He was even forsaking *cookies*!!!

Jens no cookie

You know how people call places their ‘spiritual home’ – I think Jensie found his. At least the name of it!

Jens Hells backbone 1 Jens Hells Backbone 2

Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper?

Not sure why there were so many stormtroopers out in Utah – we all know the Empire is based in London. But they were there. Out in force. Check out the shapely Stormtrooper in the middle!

Jens stormtrooper 1 Jens stormtrooper 2Jens stormtrooper 3 Jens stormtooper 4Looks like Dave Zabriskie went to the David Millar school of ‘pile ’em high’ nasal strip application.

The Gruppetto

Photobomb! BTW, we met Stephanie in Paris – she’s exactly like that picture! (but in a good way!)

G Cav photobomb

Always a place for a cute little fan in this column. (Although Filippo Pozzato is looking a bit wary.)

G Lampre boy

That Boy Phinney proving that lycra covers a multitude of tan lines.

G Taylor topless

Gianni Meersman looks like he’s about to hightail it with a suitcase full of cash in some sort of crazy comedy caper.

G Meersman

Well, if Gianni needs any tips on disguises while he’s on the lam, he can always get some advice from PhilGil.

G Gilbert with tache

Another cute kid! I like this picture. I like it a lot.

G Degenkolb ad

Looks like Judge Dredd has demanded the riders have license plates while riding in Utah.

G Utah license

The Sacred Haunches™ … sigh

G Fabs print isnt deadThe lovely man from Trek has said that this publication will be available at local Trek retailers in a few weeks. I will be there.

Where in the *world* is Fabs sleeping? Is it the back of the bus? Is it in a garage? Has he been kidnapped? He looks so uncomfortable! Surely Spartacus deserves better than this! (I’d best not go on with this – this is a family show!)

G Fabs asleep

Okay, I need to let my heart stop racing so I’ll close this column for the week. Who gets the last word? Who else?

The Last Word

Picture 1

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