Tweets of the Week: Sex, violence and dogs on motorcycles

Funny, cruel, odd, personal … you get it all on Twitter. Each week, we’ll have a rundown of some of our favourite tweets. Here are the tweets for the week ending 20th May 2012.

Our cups runneth over

It is an embarrassment of riches this week for Tweets. We had two major races: the second week of the Giro d’Italia and the Tour of California. All I can say is: thank God for the teams who haven’t put tweeting restrictions on their riders (yet).

Of course, some riders might think that Twitter is more important than it actually is. Tom Boonen has finally joined the Twitterstream and it electrified the timelines. But after all, it was an historic event, apparently!

That said, Tom hasn’t gone nuts or anything – he’s no Taylor Phinney! He’s been on Twitter for five days, has tweeted ten times and has nearly 15,000 followers. This is my personal favourite tweet.

Lonely cyclist, looking for amore

Speaking of Taylor Phinney, blimey, this guy is working hard to get a stalker!

Dude! Slow down! You’ve got to ride for hours every day in the cold and the wet. You share a room with another guy every night. When are you going to get time to entertain the ladies?Ah, the ladies are getting bored … and, like the fox who can’t get the grapes, things turn sour for Hollywood Phinney as well. (I’m very curious as to what ‘abnormal text activity’ means.)

After sex comes violence

Let’s move away from this failed Roman orgy and move on to #GIRORUMBLE. Now, this has entertained tweeps for days. Frank Schleck and Alex Rasmussen had a bit of a slapdown on Twitter after an unfortunate incident in the peloton earlier in the Giro in which Schleck the Elder believed Rasmussen caused his crash, damaging his shoulder. They said stuff in the press, they said a few things on Twitter and that was all that was needed for the tweeps to let their fertile imaginations run wild. Let’s start with what happened in the press, then what VeloVoices editor Tim would call the ‘key protagonists’ [Oi! – Ed] said on Twitter.

This exchange was actually the least interesting part of the whole affair. The tweeps, on the other hand, lit up the stream.

This was a mere smattering of tweets – thank goodness they hashtagged it. Everyone was hoping that #GIRORUMBLE would continue until Milan but as Schleck the Elder left the Giro on Sunday with his bad shoulder, fisticuffs were avoided. Hmmmm, wonder if #GIRORUMBLE The Sequel: This Time It’s the Tour! will be playing this July. We can only hope!

Now we know why all the bees are disappearing

Jens was in California. And he encountered a bee. He was going to be nice. But the bee pissed him off.

And not only is he declaring war on the world of insects (by the way, Jens, they’ll win no matter what), he has declared war on aging. I’m with him on that one!

Jens gave the aging process a kick in the behind, along with all the other riders in the Tour of California, except for ITT winner Dave Zabriskie. Jens was only 23 seconds from Dave’s time and beat Tejay van Garderen by 11 seconds. Take that Old Father Time – you’d better keep your distance from Jens: he eats bees, you know.

The Return of David Millar

That is, he was trying. Millarmind was coming back from the Tour of Norway – a race that was pretty much ignored by everyone else – and finds himself by the side of the road.

The making of an icon

Peter SuperSagan did extremely well in the Tour of California, winning five stages (four in a row) and finishing second in a climbing stage. This prompted me and a number of my colleagues at work to take the 25-to-1 odds on Sagan winning the Olympic road race and placed a bet. If he wins, I get to go crazy with £250. Boys and booze, my friends, boys and booze. Therefore, whenever I think of Sagan, this image comes to mind and the sound of angels singing:

I’m concerned that Panache has too much time on his hands, what with this and the RumbleFrank poster above. But hey, if you guys aren’t following him yet, you should. He’s ace.

And last but not least, during the Giro this weekend, there was a lot of gratuitous Revealing of the Underpants™ by men who should know better (and certainly don’t have the figure for it). In California, they kept their clothes and dressed up like bears instead. But I think this twitpic from Matt Brammeier is best to close on.

It’s the final week of the Giro and if the middle weekend’s racing is anything to go on, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic – and unpredictable. We’ll be doing our thing on Twitter, here on the blog and Facebook so if you can’t watch it, you can keep up to date with us. Ciao for now!

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